Depression~Dead Inside~

Depression is something that we are all running away. But the pain is everywhere. It won’t leave you alone.

Behind you back you can feel the evil, that whispers in your ear: ‘it’s time to die’. You want to ignore the voice inside your head, but you can’t.

At  one point you break down. You yell from the pain, you cry until you can’t breathe anymore and you want to die.

You begin to ask yourself: ‘Is there a reason for me to live?’ The evil takes control. Nobody can save you now, just yourself, but you are lost.

Your mind is always full of bad thoughts, you are always nervous and you can’t concentrate at anything at all.

 Before falling asleep you get scared and you imagine the worst things in the world. Then you freeze from been frighten , waiting for the evil to make his presence.

You have insomnia. You can’t sleep. Your thoughts are getting louder.

Your voices inside your head they never stop, your bad memories are coming back every night.

Every wound seems to get amplified.

You feel the need to hurt yourself, even that you know is not good...but you still do it. Why?

Because it doesn’t depend on you, you can’t control this...

The world around you can’t even observe your fake smile, which hides thousands of wounds.

It’s incredible how one smile can transform million of tears just in one second.

You have the impression that no one understands you, maybe it’s true

Your friends ask you ‘Why?’ , but you don’t know what to tell them.

It wasn’t your fault..It wasn’t your choice, it just happened.

You go to your little corner, you ignore everyone, you cry, you yell, you write, you take it all out, then you listen to music thinking that it will calm you down.

You wake up every morning looking in the mirror asking yourself: ‘Who is this person?’

You don’t even recognize yourself... right?

Pain changes people. Depression is a part of your life.

You want everything to stop, but it’s getting worse. You worry that those things are not going to stop.

It hurts you so bad that you want to die every night and you ask yourself: ‘If I disappear, will someone miss me?’

Your voice inside your head is telling you that you need this.

The thoughts are controlling your body. You are starting to do what you don’t want to. You are forced by yourself to do this.

You can’t stand yourself. You are tired of been alone.

You need someone that you can relate to and to fight against you, because inside you there is a war.

The demons inside you they enter deep in your mind, in your heart and in your body.

You ask yourself: ‘When this is going to stop?’, but the voice inside your head is telling you: ‘Get ready because it didn’t even started ’.

You are afraid of the people, of the pain, of the dark, of the future.

You lost your trust, you forgot who you are.

Nobody is there for you. Nobody understands you. Nobody knows what you feel.

Lot of them , they are taking it as a joke, but depression is not a game.

You want to be like before, but you can’t.

You don’t feel able to do anything, you think you are useless.

You start to hate yourself and to think that nobody loves you. People make you feel worst.

You ask yourself:’ What does happiness ‘tastes’ like?’. You forgot how it feels like when you are smiling, isn’t it?

You want to be optimistic, but what you have inside your head will never leave you.

You are dead inside.

It’s so hard to confront you thoughts and the demon inside you.

You want to give up everything. You did what you could, but you should have done much more.

You go to an empty space and you are decided to put an end to all of the bad things. Even that this means you are going to miss the good things.

Then someone appears and takes you by the hand in the last moment: ‘Don’t do it. I love you. ‘

Suddenly all your bad thoughts are starting to disappear, your heart beats faster and the wounds seems to heal slowly.

Holding that hand and looking around, you start to realize that the world doesn’t seem so bad.

You only need one person in your life to tell you that he/she is always besides you and to remind you who you truly are.